I can go the distance...

Challenge: To hike from Dublin to Galway in a week... 207km...

Difficulty: It's hiking from Dublin to Galway... how hard could it be?

Overview: While sitting over a delicious Indian meal with Conor Sweetman (above) I mentioned the whole 52 weeks - 52 challenges thing... I then let slip about the idea of hiking from Dublin to Galway. Conor, for reasons only known to himself, thought this sounded like a brilliant idea and asked if he could tag along. I was initially skeptical- surely I should attempt this challenges alone? Like a hermit? Or kermit? But then loneliness is tough, the toughest role I ever played, Hollywood created a superstar... sorry- got sidetracked...

So the night before we were due to set out me and Conor met in his to discuss the route ('root' according to Conor- 'rowt' according to me... this would be a continuous disagreement throughout the trip) we'd be taking... I could discuss the ridiculousness of this route (root) but it would take too long to describe... suffice to say it was stupid as f**k.

Day 1 - The Spire to Kilcock (giggle)

Early morning train to Dublin Connelly. The hike was to begin at the Spire and finish at Eyre Square in Galway. Todays desitination was Kilcock (giggle) - which didn't get old at any point during the journey. We hiked through an old dilapidated part of Dublin I'd never seen before- we watched the markets getting set up by the scariest Dublin folk in existence. We then hiked through Phoenix Park where there was a 5mile run on- we also passed the house of the president and felt extremely patriotic...

We hiked out of Dublin, through Lucan and then onto the canal walk. 7 hours of hiking later we arrived in Kilcock (giggle).

We stayed in Ashford House B&B where there was a mistake in the booking and there wasn't a twin room available. So instead we got UPGRADED to a room each with ensuite and our own tea making facilities! After a chat with the lovely owner (whose sons names were also Conor and Steve) and a nap we decided to order in a sexy chinese (food- not an actual person). Our muscles were in a lot of pain and we were fairly wrecked- although we did stay up and watch The Fantastic Four... mmm... Jessica Alba...

Day 2 - Kilcock (giggle) to Kinnegad

"IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!"

Up early for breakfast, the lovely owner Angela offered to make us sandwiches for our hike (we love this woman). So we began our hike from Kilcock (giggle) to Kinnegan- the sleep had cured our weary muscles and everything seemed grand. The canal offered a treasure trove of wonders- most importantly it gave us a boat...

After about 4 hours of hiking along the canal- and becoming truly sick of it- we stopped at Furey's Bar for a pot of tea and a break...

Back on the road- our intention to hike the N4 from Moyvalley to Kinnegad... at this point it began to rain... heavily... and it was ascertained that there was a serious flaw with my waterproofs...

This was one of the most miserable parts of the journey in my mind. Chaffing became a serious issue as the wet clothes stuck to my legs as I walked. I found that singing "I can go the distance" from Hercules was really the only thing that could lighten my mood. Eventually we arrived in Kinnegad and the irony of the poster upon our arrival was not lost...

We stayed with the O'Rourkes that night who provided us with shelter, food and a nice comfy bed where me and Conor slept head to tail... naughty bits still in the middle though... they also provided me with sexy new WORKING waterproofs... thanks guys...

Day 3 - Kinnegad to Kilbeggan

This was just roads and fields... but the weather was good... and so we took photos...

Arrived in Kilbeggan... sunburnt... had another chinese- delish...

Day 4 - Kilbeggan to Athlone

Left Kilbeggan nice and early. Weather today wasn't too bad except both myself and Conor were sun burnt from the day before. The hike today wasn't half as interesting as the night we had. We arrived in Mary's gaff in Athlone (friend of the fanily) We decided that we'd walk 65km the next day. In order to celebrate this massive undertaking we decided to have a glass of wine...

Three bottles of wine later we decided to walk to Aughrim the next day instead...  

Day 5 - Athlone to Aughrim

Hungover and feeling pretty rough we left the at about 2pm... we arrived in Aughrim at about 9pm. Not much to report except that our legs were definetly screwed up. Also we were hitting double digits, each, when it came to blisters (at the time of writing this- 2 weeks late [as usual] I still have 2 blisters remaining).

Day 6 - Aughrim to Galway

Today was the toughest and stupidest day of all. We got up at 3am, I made eggs and beans, and we left the lovely hostel around 4am. We then hiked, in agony, for kilometres... and kilometres... a cute dog came to greet us along the way... but he proved to be both annoying and stupid. He followed us for about 5km then we called his owner (it was now 8am) to come and collect him. We took a few Difene (best drug ever) and continued on our way.

Misery is the word than only begins to describe how we felt... we found a garden to sleep in around noon for an hour. We also realised a very funny dynamic to our duo; when we were walking I was miserable and unhappy, but Conor was grand. When we stopped though- Conor became miserable because he got the feeling that "oh dear god we have to start again"... thus Conor spent the time 'walking' cheering me up and I spent the time 'resting' cheering Conor up... also- these geese cheered us both up...

We decided to avoid moaning or complaining on the last day so instead we had to turn everything into a postitive statement... this lead to statements like: "Stephen- I have a blister on my right little toe that feels so f**king good..." and "Conor- Mmmhmm... gotta love this stabbing sensation in my leg..."

We walked a minor section on the motorway... and got stopped by the guards where he explained to us that 'blue' signs are for motorways... to which Conor responded: "Well- next time we hike from Dublin to Galway we'll keep that in mind..."

15 hours later- a couple of kilometers outside Galway city- well over 200km of hiking we realized the following... we hadn't drank anything in the last 5 hours, we were in agony and we were walking so slowly that by the time we'd arrive in Galway (only about 4km at this stage) it'd be getting dark. We mutually agreed that we'd walked the distance from Dublin to Galway and proceeded to dial a taxi to take us the remainder of the journey. 

I would go into the epicness of Galway and how it was legendary... but what happens in Galway stays in Galway....

And yeah... we got the bus home... screw walking...

Conclusion: One of the hardest, yet rewarding, things I've ever done. If you ever need to 'find yourself' or 'get in touch with your inner chi' then I recommend hiking from Dublin to Galway. I also recommend that you hike with someone who is a legend as it will make the journey that much more worthwhile. I recommend bringing vaseline (for chaffing), waterproofs and GPS. Also- make sure you're bag doesn't weight 18kg like mine did... that was just stupid.

Special Thanks: Brendan O'Rourke and family for their hospitality. All the hostels and B&B's where we stayed- the service was brilliant. Thanks to Mary in Athlone for putting us up and making us breakfast! Thanks to Conor for being a fucking legend.

And most importantly... thanks to these guys who always kept a lookout for us along the way...

Remembering the Piercing Starvation...

Challenge Numero Uno: To fast for 5 days with only water, tea and coffee.

Challenge Numero Dos: To try memorize 100 peoples birthdays.

Challenge Numero... uh... three: Get my nipple pierced and keep it for a week

Difficulty: Medium rare followed by... can't remember.... then ouch time...

Overview / Rant: I've read some awful books in my life... but probably ranked there at the top of that list is none other than the Way of the Peaceful Warrior... it's diabolical... it's a first person story about a young man who mets a 'life-sensei' at a petrol station and this sensei teaches him the way of the Peaceful Warrior. There's also a love interest but *SPOILER ALERT* halfway through the novel his memory is wiped and he forgets he ever met her... in a story told from the first person... in the past tense... how could the author/character tell us about this lady if his memory was wiped of ever meeting her? Also- his life ends up being shit with failed marriages and whatnot... so yeah... stupid stupid book...

One good thing came from that book- apart from being good to keep a fire going, was the notion of fasting for 5 days... so I decided to try that s**t out...

Day 1 - Went to bed at 3am after a night of heavy drinking and Warcraft III with my bro and cousin. Yes ladies- I am single. So anyway... woke up at 11am and felt the urge for breakfast. Managed to ignore that urge by gulping down a pint of water. Next temptation came at lunch time when we went out to Stoop Your Head in Skerries. They do the most delicious plate of prawns in garlic butter... I salivate just thinking about it.... so I resisted temptation by taking a brisk walk around the harbour while everyone finished their meal. I drank water... with a piece of cut lemon... since I didn't eat the lemon I don't see it as cheating... By 9pm that night I had no more cravings for food... although I may or may not have played more Warcraft III... seriously ladies- form an orderly queue...

Day 2 - Feel great! Had a slump around 5pm but watched a movie and drank water. Had to sit through dinner because I had a friend over... when I saw the food (fish, chips and beans.... drool) I was so tempted to break the fast... but as the food was eaten I realised that I actually wasn't hungry! Leading me to believe that I will eat food if you put it in front of me. Which holds true as I always feel compelled to clear my plate even if I'm full- seriously- it takes a lot of self control for me NOT to eat what's left on a plate... Also today I realised that when I want to 'think' I have food... like: "What'll I do now?" will also be thought over a piece of toast or a poached egg...

Day 3 - Grand.... zero hunger problems.

Day 4 - Woke up today wishing it was Friday. I was in a foul mood all day. I tried to keep myself occupied with activities but I just kept getting annoyed really easily. I ended up having a hot chocolate (made with water) to try cheer me up... dunno if that was cheating but I honestly couldn't have cared at that point...

Day 5 - Feel really good! I had no hungry all day but I decided to reintroduce myself to food around 4pm as I was heading to a gig later and needed to drive. I had toast... mmmmmm.... butter.... toast.... yum....

Conclusion/Recommendation: Surprisingly easy to do... granted there were tons of times where I wanted to break it but once I removed myself from the food I felt much better. For really serious hunger I just drank a pint of water which really took the edge off. I drove most days without any hassle but I felt a little weak on the Friday (hence the toast)... I lost half a stone over the week but I would definitely NOT recommend this as a weight loss solution- I'm fairly confident that my metabolism has slowed so much that the next food I eat over the coming week will go straight to FAT reserves... 

What I would consider is fasting for 48 hours once a month. It would definetly remind you that a.) you will not die if you go without food for a day or two and b.) it's a good way to 'reset' your system and reintroduce healthy foods etc... but that's just my opinion... I'm not a doctor... 

Challenge Numero Dos: To memorize 100 friends birthdays.

Rant/Overview: Since my birthday was fast approaching I felt the urge to learn my friends birthdays and not be solely relying on social mediums such as facebook. I used a combination of memory techniques, in particular the Peg System and Memory Palaces. A Memory Palace is a specific place you imagine in your mind, it can be anywhere you must be able to imagine it vividly; e.g. your house, your school, the beach. I designed twelve memory places for each month of the year...

January - a cinema (new beginnings/beginning of a film)

February - a valentines house designed in red and gold (valentine's Day)

March - an army barracks (army people march)

April - a kitchen (April and apron share the same first three letters)

May - a barn (May rhymes with hay which is in a barn)

June - the moon (June rhymes with lune. Lunacy is associated with the moon)

July - my house  (my birthday is in July)

August  - the beach (summer holidays)

September - entrance of my school (school starts back up in September)

October - graveyard (Halloween in October)

November - bank (banks have members and member rhymes with November)

December - winter wonderland

So then I had to associate numbers with words... I used the following from Derren Browns Book Tricks of the Mind. I seriously recommend this book to everyone. It's an amazing read- I've read it myself about 6 times and I still find new and interesting things every time. Anyway...

 1 - bun           6 - sticks

    2 - shoe           7 - heaven

3 - tree            8 - gate 

4 - door          9 - line

5 - hive           10 - hen

The next step was to walk through the Memory Palace for January and insert people and their birthdays. I would picture the person in my mind and look at their birthday. So if someones birthday was the 13th of January then I'd imagine them sitting in the cinema eating a bun, but the bun has a small tree growing out of it. The image should be entertaining or strange but it needs to be weird enough that you'll remember it. If someone's birthday was the 24th of April I would imagine them in a kitchen cooking- they get annoyed and stamp their massive clown shoe on the floor- but it's not a floor it's a trap door.... kitchen represents April... the massive clown shoe represents 2 and the trap door represents 4... and so on...

Difficulty: It's really hard to remember the people you don't associate with as much. The hardest birthdays to remember were of the people I rarely see or can't picture in my head. I found the best way to remember someone was to get them to interact with me as I walked through the Memory Palace- that way it'd be more vivid and real. 

Conclusion/Recommendation: Well I managed to learn 100 birthdays and (2 weeks later- yes I am useless at posting on time) I still know about 60 of them. The ones I don't know are where I designed a poor Memory Palace (November and August) and are the people I see less of. 

I totally recommend Derren Brown's book- it's a really good read. I also recommend you try this to help remember your nearest and dearest birthdays. I've an awful memory but it's nice to know that techniques like this can be used to improve it.

Also- people on facebook have no fear of identity theft... 

Challenge Numero THREE: Nipple piercing...

Overview/Rant/Conclusion/Recommendation: Em... I'm still undecided... it's sore if people hit it... it's kinda annoying cus I keep hitting it be accident... I don't know if I like it... I don't know if I dislike it... there's a piece of metal going through my nipple... how is one supposed to feel about that?

Anyway... here it is... 

I'll keep it. At least until I head to Kuwait... 

Final thoughts: Late with posting (as usual) but I was away last week hiking from Dublin to Galway! I'll but that one up later. Cheers for reading. 

Mohawk, Chess, Jigsaw and Polyphasic Sleeping...

Challenge(s): Have a Mohawk for a week, challenge people randomly to a game of chess and build a 2,000 piece jigsaw in a week. Polyphasic Sleep Project.

Skills Developed: Love of Mohawks. Appreciation to not underestimate people named Grace. The ability to formulate 2D thoughts into 3D... lack of sleep... 

Overview/Rant: To make up for lost time I decided to undertake 3 different challenges in one week. Challenge numbero uno was that of donning (from the verb 'donner' - to don) a mohawk for a week. Suffice to say my 'mohawk' received various compliments and insults... Firstly- it wasn't truly a mohawk, more a Mr. T haircut... that said I did receive various expected responses from friends and family... BUT there was the occasional person who really liked it... so 'mixed' response would be the best answer to the question that you did not ask...

In terms of a challenge- it was actually quite difficult... You're be surprised how quickly someone will judge you based on your hair style- it wasn't anything major but I found that people were a little shorter with me than usual... shop assistants and bus drivers were less eager to meet me eye-to-eye than what I would usually encounter... of course all this is subjective... it's like when you have a spot on your face and you're ABSOLUTELY certain that everybody can see it... and not only that... they're judging you for the spotty geek that you are...

Actually... I was a bit spotty this week... dammit...

Okay- the 2nd challenge: be a chess master... right so... someone (I can't remember who- I was probably drinking) suggested that I challenge people to a game of chess everyday for a week... while this seems like an interesting concept... I didn't really get what I was trying to achieve... was I supposed to win? Wouldn't I just play people who really suck? 

Well I didn't... except Fiona... she didn't know how to play chess... pffth... blondes...

I played 5 games total- 2 via facebook games application... you will be astonished the number of people who reject to play you in a game of chess... it's hurtful... the other three were at a dear friend of mines house warming party... do not ask me why there was a chess board at the party... there just was... so I played 3 games there...

First was against the sexiest half of Team Rocket - James... 

I played Pikachu to James's Meowth... need more detail? Find it here...

Second was the Cavan Chess Champion Dallan... me and Dallan have a history with chess... basically the first time we played each other (many moons ago) Dallan LIED to me and told me he didn't play much... then when he beat me he decided to disclose that he was in fact some sort of Cavan Chess Champion... pathological lying? Sign of a serial killer? I don't know... but that look in his eye tells me to watch it... 

By the end of this match it was Dublin 1... Cavan 0... Boo yeah...

Last... but not least... Grace...

I was playing a blinder... winning left right and centre... but thanks to 'amazing' Grace... that was destroyed in what can be described as the epic-est of chess games in drinking-chess history. The look of glee on her face almost makes me forgive her for destroying my winning spree...

Almost... 

Another challenge was to complete a 2,000 piece jigsaw... I'm going to go out on a limb and admit that I didn't have time (well I did- but I forgot) to do this challenge- so I completed a 3D jigsaw instead... it only had 416 pieces BUT it was 3-D... that's like at least 1.5 times harder than 2D... (that's what she said)

The masterpiece...

Finally- I spent the next week undergoing Polyphasic Sleep... you can read all about it here and I seriously recommend that you do... but simply put- polyphasic sleep means you go to sleep at 6 times periods during the day and nap for 20-30 minutes during those periods. So my day went like this for example

Midnight: 20/30 minute nap

4am: 20/30 minute nap

8am: 20-30 minute nap 

Noon: 20-30 minute nap

4pm: 20-30 minute nap

8pm: 20-30 minute nap

People typically take around 90 minutes to enter REM sleep (read more about that here) but with polyphasic sleeping you end up tricking/training your brain into entering REM sleep much sooner. Now- this experiment needs to be conducted over weeks, if not months, to have an effect... BUT I will divulge the experience that I had.

Day 1 - a little tired... the 4am nap was hardest and I ended up sleeping till 5am... but otherwise the rest of the day was grand. I definitely had more time on my hands- but fighting the urge to sleep was my main aim and this time was spent watching TV to keep awake.

Day 2 - more energy than yesterday... managed to sleep all the naps fine and didn't oversleep. Occasionally I didn't actually sleep for a nap, just rested... but I didn't feel like I was lacking sleep in any way! It was really good! 

Day 3 - this day was perfect until I went out for drinks in town... a lot of drinks... and suffice to say I couldn't nap in town so I ended up sleeping in the next morning... dammit..

Day 4 - Tried to re-embrace the pattern but couldn't nap due to having a full nights sleep. Went out for dinner and a few glasses of wine that night... back by 1am so I figured I'd stay up till 4am and try recontinue the pattern... this brings us to Day 5...

Day 5 - Woke up at 10am... but managed to get back on schedule by 4pm and kept it up till Saturday... until I had to work at a gig... and was given free drink...

Basically- having read up on this polyphasic sleep and having tried to do it I can conclude a few things...

1.) It seems really interesting and I do think that there are benefits behind it. I was already dreaming when I went for naps by the last day and I did feel that a lot of time had passed even though I'd only been asleep for about 20 minutes.

2.) It is only possible if you choose not to have a social life... you cannot nap in town... you cannot drink heavily and then expect to not sleep... this sleep pattern does not allow for flexibility... 

I obviously can't really make a judgement on this because I've barely begun to experience it BUT I am going to keep this sleep pattern up for the rest of the summer with a few minor adjustments...

1.) I will be a polyphasic sleeper on the days where I have not planned a social event/gathering/piss up... 

That's the only adjustment really.

But this is an eye-opener to a whole different way of living, especially highlighted in this guys blog (who is also called Steve) who undertook the polyphasic sleeping for a year... and apparently found it really good... except for his social life....

Recommendations/Conclusions: Try a mohawk... although make sure it's a proper one and not the Mr.T mohawk I attempted. Play Chess... it's awesome and beating people from Cavan will make you more of a man. Polyphasic sleep is definitely worth considering if you have 1.) a flexible boss or 2.) no job.

Other stuff: The idea of polyphasic sleep came from Pauric Carroll (another Cavan man) who stole it (as Cavan men are wont to do) from a book called the GAME... 

The GAME could be the most important book you ever read. I recommend it to men and women everywhere. Read more about it here. 

Future Challenge: 5 different continents (Australia/ Africa/ America/ Europe/ Asia) and 5 different cuisines. So I try cook a meal from a different continent everyday... inject a bit of culture into my life.. other future challenges include getting my blogs done on time...

Random stuff: Let's gangbang this thing and go home...