Life's a stitch...

Just a little epic knitting and epic looking into the distance...

Challenge: To learn how to knit and to knit a scarf in a week.

Difficulty: 1/5

Skills developed: Learned how to cast on, cast off and basic knitting.

Overview/Rant: The earliest example of knitting dates back to Egyptian times in the form of decorative socks... which probably lead to the first (and worst) fashion mistake of the millennium.

I began the knitting late Tuesday night with my 'awesome/legendary' mother getting me started with a quick knitting-for-idiots tutorial. She showed me the cast on and attached a row of 50 knots to get me started. (This was the entire length of the knitting needle)

I spent the better part of Wednesday to Friday knitting like a god (hey, someone's got to blow this trumpet). I observed a few things while knitting... 

ONE- women think it's cool

2- guys think it's 'gay' but are the first ones lining up to have a go

c- knitting on the bus is a guaranteed way of not having anyone sit beside you

iv- when you overhear two knackers discussing there up and coming court hearing, its time to hide the knitting needles and get the hell off the bus... 

So Friday night I had completed this much with one ball of wool...

This of course left me with a little dilemma- I only had one other ball of wool and there was no chance of me getting to the wool shop to buy more (plus- €7 a pop! F*8k that) so I had to wave goodbye to the aptly named Scarf 1.0 and welcome in a new era of scarf... it'd be sleeker and thinner than before with only 15 stitches to a line. 

But I was running out of time... I needed something to motive me... something to give me drive... that something came in the form of...

I was ready... I knitted... my god I knitted...

Then I went to a mates house for drinks...

Then I knitted drunk...

After several minutes, of what can only be described as 'epic-ripping-the-shit-outta-Steve,' my friends (who are so understanding of my choices in life...) decided to come up with knitting puns on famous films/songs/people/things... 

Casablanket / Wool Metal Jacket / Harry Potter and the Stitch / Lilo and Stitch / Dances with Woolves / Sow Patrol / Knitty O' Shea / Superstichus / Judge Thread / Knitting Hill / Knitty Knity Bang Bang / Knitwits / The Thin Blue Twine / Heard it through the Grapetwine / Lady in Thread / Knitty Women / Jeremy Needle / Aknitomy of Murder / Grey's Aknitomy / Robert Patternson / Twinelight / Good Wool Hunting / Wool Smith / Hey Yanrold / Yarnold Swatsnegar / The Land Before Twine / The Twining / Knit-up and Wool-ups / Alfred Stitchcock / Stitchy and Scracthy / Last of the Summers Twine / Where's Wooly / Wooly Harrilson / Wooly Allen / Woolfred Owen / Ragin Wool / Come Twine With Me / A F Wool / Wooliver's Travels / Wooliver Punkknit

 

I awoke the next morning/afternoon and 'hangover' I did have (english good speak yes?)... I picked up the scarf which had mysteriously dropped one stitch... to 14 stitches... do I stay on with the 14 stitches and hope that that missing stitch will not come back to bite me in the ass?

No... for a stitch in time... saves nine... *sigh*

I undid everything I'd done the drunken night before. I went back and found the missing stitch... the lucky son-of-a-stitch was reunited with his fellow stitches and together we finished scarf 2.0... Suffice to say...

So I present to you... Scarf 2.0... 

Bored now with having completed my challenge... I then pondered the different fashion statements on could make with a sexy hand knitted scarf... this lead to my next digression...

The 'Fonz'

The 'Rambo'

The 'Chamber Maid'

And lets not forget 'Jordi' from Star Trek

 

Hardest parts: Cast on and cast off. That is all. The rest is just awesome. I gave this challenge 1/5 cus it was simple and enjoyable- THAT SAID... I only knitted a scarf and I'm betting knitting anything non-rectangular shaped would be much harder.

Recommendation: DO IT.

Conclusion: Love it. Expect to get knitted related gifts this Christmas!

Special Thanks: Mum for the knitting assistance. Susan Doyle for the inspirational idea. Thanks to Margaret and Killian McCarthy who offered their assistance and equipment. Thanks also to DaLLan, Brendan, Celina, Erin, John, Kirsten and Alfla for their pun related goodness.

Next challenge: Fitness February is beginning- starting with me getting fit enough to get into the army... or pass their requirements to get in... read more at:

http://www.62infantry.com/Annual_Fitness_Test.shtml

Random thoughts: 

V is for Vagitus*

Challenge: To learn violin and be able to play a popular tune by the end of the week.

Difficulty: 4/5

Skills developed: I learnt the basics of violin and violin upkeep. I also improved on my playing by 'ear' AND I learnt how to upload youtube videos... which take ages by the way... and I learned a new word- 'vagitus*'... 

Overview/Rant: This challenge was very enjoyable. I love the violin and learning to play it was really fun. The string layout of a violin is similar to that of a guitar, provided you strip it of its higher strings and leave only the G, D, A and E string. This makes learning the notes relatively quick and easy, although unlike the guitar you don't have the aid of frets to help identify where to place your fingers, thus making it quite challenging at times. Realistically you want to have a good ear to identify when you're hitting the correct note or whether you're a semi-tone off.

The hardest part of the violin, in my opinion, is the bow technique. Granted it looks simple when you watch someone else do it, but trying to keep the control and not allow your hand quiver over a note is extremely difficult to do. In the end I found I was concentrating completely on the bow and hoping my fingers would hold the correct notes at the correct times. 

A fantastic modern day violinst, that you should totally (like omg) try catch, is Nigel Kennedy. He is a stylist b**tard who has no airs about himself. I got the opportunity to see him perform several years ago and it was one of the best gigs I'd ever been too. During the performance he heckled an audience member who turned up late, "You just missed the whole f**king concerta!," and he played a mix of classical and popular pieces (you can find him doing Jimi Hendrix covers on youtube). A really brilliant showman who makes classical music interesting and fun to watch. He also succeeds in eliminating the pompous attitude often associated with classical music. Here's one of his classical covers of Vivaldi's "Spring." (Those who sat the Junior Cert music exam around 2003 should be pretty familiar with this one!)

Suffice to say- I did not achieve this standard of playing. The melody I attempted to learn was the opening credits to the Buffy spin-off show 'Angel.' Below is how it should sound. 

Take note that the 'Angel' theme is played on a viola which has a lower register than the violin. So everything I play will sound distinctly higher pitched... and shitter... here is what I came up with... we'll call this attempt number six thousand and two...

Okay- so it's far from perfect- but I'm pretty happy/exhausted with it...

Recommendation: Really enjoyable- if you're interested then it's easy enough to get started. There's tons of online tutorials which were helpful and its a very easy to learn the theory to violin. Practically it's as difficult as any musical instrument and will require tons of practice to get anyway decent. 

Conclusion: Awesome challenge- a good mix of enjoyment with difficulty. Seriously considering buying a violin now...  

Special Thanks: Susan Bourke for providing the violin and assistance! I did my best when taking care of the violin... it was touch and go there for a while though...

Next Challenge: Knitting- gotta learn to knit and knit me a scarf in a week! Anyone interested in joining me then let me know! Nothing like a good olde stitch and bitch! http://stitchnbitch.org/

Random Thoughts: The violin is a fantastic tool for demonstrating how the frequency of a stretched string is inversely proportional to its length... aaah physics... is there anything you can't do?

* Vagitus - a baby's cry or wail...

Rocket Propelled Grenade...

Challenge: To develop a video game in a week. I choose to use RPG Maker XP and develop my own adventure.

Difficulty: 5/5

Skills developed: Learned how to make my own RPG game and how to upload files on the net.

Get it here


The files needed to run it 
http://tkool.jp/products/rpgxp/eng/download.html


The game itself... (3 choices) 
http://rapidshare.com/files/336899263/Game.zip.html
http://www.box.net/shared/y4y2ssfskh
http://www.filefront.com/15374077/Game.zip




Steps involved


1.) Download RPG Maker XP and install it (sorry people- no idea if it runs on non-XP computers)
2.) Download the rapidshare file (post a comment if they're all gone- I'll re-upload it- check the comments section to see if there's a different link)
3.) UNZIP the rapidshare file (called game) and copy it into the INSTALLED DIRECTORY where you put RPG Maker.
4.) Click on GAME and it should run. Let me know if it doesn't! Thanks! 


Controls: x- menu. enter- action. arrow keys - walk. 

Overview/Rant: Holy f**k I'm exhausted. As you'll notice- I'm also two days late... DON'T CARE! I've managed to put off much IMPORTANT work to be done for college and school to do this... so, please ENJOY! Also- apologies for any glitches etc- let me know...  

Hardest Parts: The time taken to do everything. You have to be EXTREMELY careful when placing things as even one mistake can cause the complete game to glitch... for example- putting an enemy in a spot then forgetting to have him erased once you kill him... thus meaning infinite battles. Or building a switch that can only be activated via certain events... etc etc... MIND NUMBINGLY TECHNICAL! Seriously exhausting...

Recommendation: Glad I did it. I love RPG's so it was fun writing the dialogue and storyline (even if it is a super crap one). Do try this if you love RPG's. Don't try this if you like having a life... 

Conclusion: Dam hard challenge. As you can see I'm late by two days- but in my defense I did nothing Tuesday or Wednesday... so, yeah, whatever... ANYWAY- I hope it works- I've checked it a few times but hopefully it's fine. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND ANYTHING WRONG SO I CAN FIX IT!!! Cheers

Special Thanks: Conor Lynch for the suggestion. Rebecca Gimblett for test running the game (Rebecca: "You're a nerd Stephen...")

Next Challenge: Was supposed to learn the unicycle in a week- but failed to get access to one so I will be learning the violin instead. I must learn one song by the end of the week.

Random Thoughts: It was one hell of a journey... (game hint: streetlight people...)

Got milk?

Challenge: To be a vegan for a week. This meant no meat, eggs, honey, dairy or anything else that would upset the animal kingdom. It also meant not wearing leather or anything made from animals, although ties bearing pictures of animals were acceptable (although frowned upon). I was also required to cook a vegan meal for a friend.

Difficulty: 3/5

Skills developed: Learned how to make my own vegan bread, cookies and chick pea snacks...

Overview/Rant: For those who don't know, the philosophy behind veganism is that you live a lifestyle which does not cause harm to any animal, not just the cute ones. Veganism is, fundamentally, about being a hard-core vegetarian. Where vegetarians can get off saying "Ugh, do you know what they did to the animal you're eating?!" Vegans can say "You drank some cows milk? DIE DIE DIE!!!" Between vegan and vegetarian, when it comes to who's got the biggest cucumber - vegans win out... although argument could/should be made for the fact that not eating meat is, kind of, a lose-lose situation anyway... 

Okay- you've probably noticed by now that I am not a poster boy for veganism. Maybe it's my taste for blood and flesh that my parents instilled into me from an early age (how dare they) or maybe it's our natural instinct to eat other animals. Now- I haven't read Richard Dawkins "The Evidence of Evolution" for the sole reason that I don't need to be convinced of the blatantly obvious, but, I'm fairly sure, at some point, the argument was made that humans are designed to eat other animals. We’re part of a food chain. If a bunny had razor sharp teeth I’m sure he’d rip our f*$king throat out... or has Monty Python taught us nothing? Basically, if you’re trying to sell me onto the idea of vegetarianism/veganism solely on it’s immoral, then I’m not sold. Animals are supposed to eat other animals. Does the cheetah eating the antelope think of stopping once in a while to eat the grass and dig into some tofu? No, they know what they were designed to do. We’ve been designed to do the same. Or can someone explain to me what I’m doing with these canine teeth in my mouth?

On the positive side of veganism, and moving away from my ranting digression, there is a serious upside to becoming a vegan. In studies comparing vegans and meat eaters they found that the vegans have a lower body mass index, lower levels of cholesterol, lower levels of saturated fat and lower rates of hypertension, type 2 diabetes, prostate and colon cancer. So, while we meat eaters may be laughing now, they’ll probably get the last laugh in the end... mainly because we’ll have keeled over from massive meat induced coronaries.

Personally I did pick up some helpful things from trying out this challenge. I now read the nutritional labels and I understand more of what is going into my body and how that will affect my health. It has, without a doubt, improved my knowledge of what to eat. I also learnt how to make my own bread, cookies and chick pea snacks (although that last one has a lot left to be desired in the flavour department). Finally, I learnt that the key thing to any meal is the spices and flavours used, rather than the meat involved. A well spiced dish can be nourishing and delicious without the need for meat (yeah- I said it).

Dinner for two: On the Tuesday I cooked a dinner for my friend MEATUS MAXIMUS (name changed to protect identity - ha). I cooked brown rice, peas and sweetcorn covered with soy sauce. There were also spicy roast vegetables and spicy wedges. The meal was very well received, although there was a comment that the roast vegetables were too spicy and there was SEVERE disappointment at the lack of tofu. For desert there were vegan chocolate cookies, which by all accounts were friggin AWESOME. Overall the meal cost approximately €10. All recipes were got from http://vegweb.com/

Hardest parts: Remembering not to wear leather stuff (and I look so good in my gimp outfit). Remembering not to put milk into tea. Shopping, as nearly everything has something to do with animals. Not thinking about meat. EGGS, my god I missed eggs...

Recommendation: Definitely think about trying this- I would recommend trying it for longer if you're really really interested. If properly prepared you could easily live like this for quite some time and not really miss meat. Although you would need to do some serious research to make sure you're getting all your vitamins OR, alternatively, stock up on vitamin supplements. Honestly though, if you’re looking for the health benefits with a bit more option then I’d recommend going vegetarian instead. It makes everything much easier, and you can still maintain your air of superiority over us meat eaters.

Conclusion: It was a challenge at times, more so out of inconvenience than anything else. Snacking proved a major bitch as I generally was left to snack on celery and carrots... yum-tastic! I think two weeks of this would have done my head in. I may think about trying to be vegetarian again in the future, but probably, definitely, not vegan. I gave it a 3/5 because it required a lot of preparation and planning, but overall the implementation was fairly simple once you’d done the grunt work.

Special Thanks: Mummy for the vegan shopping and for the cooking advice. Thanks to Yvonne Keane for the suggestion.

Next challenge: Develop a video game in a week. I’m currently deciding between a point-and-click adventure or a role-playing-game. Any suggestions for plot, storyline or genre then please post em! I’m going to see about getting webspace to set it up as well so that ye lot can all play it. Also please keep sending me only challenges! Mucho gracious! 

Random thoughts: Something to watch out for me thinks...